Mantles

"Elijah went over to him and threw his cloak across his shoulders and then walked away."  I Kings 19:19

     I think the character I identify most with in scripture is the prophet Elijah. He was a man who had a very unique ministry. In the Lord's name, he defeated the prophets of Baal, brought the dead back to life, and miraculously increased the widow's flour and oil in time of drought. But like me, the one area Elijah failed in was the effects of a wicked woman's harsh words on his spirit. After performing a great work in destroying the prophets of Baal, the threatening words of Jezebel crushed his spirit and sent him into hiding.

     Elijah's response to her death threat was to disappear in the wilderness, at which time he told God, "I have had enough, Lord...take my life..." God provided for him in that wilderness with bread and water -- exactly what he needed to survive this wilderness experience. No more; no less. Then forty days later he found himself in alone, in a cave, on Mount Sinai.  And it was during this experience that he heard God. And from the LORD, he got both a question and an answer. The question was, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Elijah had a very humanistic answer and spoke bluntly to God about how he felt about his situation. But the answer he got from God was not one he had foreseen. God basically told him that he was not as alone as he thought he was. In fact, there were 7000 people in Israel who had not bowed down to worship Baal and who were, in fact, still useful to God in supporting Elijah in his prophetic ministry. 

     In the end, we see Elijah passing his mantle onto a man of God's own choice, to carry on the prophetic ministry in Israel.  This man was Elisha, who would go on to do great works in the Lord's name also, carrying on the ministry of the one who went before him.  

     In the same way Elijah felt alone, I too have felt very alone. I have longed for a partner in ministry and a friend with whom to share my experiences and grow with where I am at here in the North.  But it never happened. Five years and it never happened. I have questioned God much on what he was doing in my life by having me alone for this time.  But in thinking about this issue recently, I conclude that after this time, God has fed me with exactly what I needed to survive so he could prepare me (and those around me) for the next step in time.  I have survived by the grace of God, and now it is time to pass the mantle onto someone else.  But whom???

     In God's sovereignty, there has been an eternal plan at work.  God is active in building his Kingdom in ways man cannot see. He does not haphazardly throw the dice and let the chips fall where they want.  He is so involved and his perfect plan unfolds in exactly the right way.  

     I must state here that after many months of anticipation, I have been approved a year leave of absence from my job and will, if God permits, be spending my year in Hampton, New Brunswick.  There were many things which could have potentially put a stop to my request for leave.  But one by one they all were moved to the wayside and God opened the pathway for me to leave my northern home, for at least one year.  So in 26 days, I will leave this place and potentially never return again. I am sad to leave, as I have formed friendships with the children and my coworkers that I will surely miss.

     I was reminded by the Spirit yesterday of the scripture in I Corinthians 3 where Paul states, "I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow." And I was shown that in my strong desire for fellowship, I was only thinking of myself.  Does God want his children in fellowship? Yes, without a doubt. But sometimes there are wildernesses or mountain caves where we find ourselves alone, but in which God will sustain us until it is time to pass the mantle, as Elijah did to Elisha.  God formed a ministry team where Elijah once saw none possible.  

     I ask whom I will pass my 'mantle' onto.  I don't profess to have a perfect record of living these five years. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I have failed in many areas. Yet God has sustained me and brought me through.  In the past week, many things I consider to be nothing short of miracles have happened in my immediate life.  First, I was approved to leave Akulivik. This is miracle number one.  Second, in the same week that this has happened, another teacher has come to our village to replace a teacher who is unable to finish the year.  There's one month of school remaining, remember? And as I have learned about this young woman, I find she is a believer in Jesus Christ and has a love for the Lord and a desire for ministry. This is miracle number two.  

     "Really, God? You couldn't have brought her along before now? I mean, in five years, and to the best of my knowledge, there has not been one non-Inuit believer in my village. I've been alone. And you wait until NOW to bring this person here?" Yeah, that was my initial response. But in thinking about this, I came to see that for my time, God has used me to do some planting. But now its time for someone else to take over and do some watering.  And in the end, it is God who will bring about the real spiritual fruit in someone's life.

     I am not responsible for carrying the weight of the spiritual needs of all people of all time. But I am called to be faithful in the place and time I find myself for the duration God has me there. And when the time comes, I must believe that God is active in building his Kingdom and that he will not leave his name unrepresented.  I will pray for my 'Elisha' that she will be filled with the Holy Spirit and that she will stand for truth and live the righteousness of Christ before her students and coworkers and that when she is alone in the wilderness and feels she can't go on that the Lord will then meet her and feed her with bread and water as he has for me.

     God is a powerful God who works in very strange ways. I don't need to understand these ways, but rejoice that I have been able to have some small part in the lives of people and that through intercessory prayer from thousands of kilometers away, I will continue to have a part in the lives of my friends and be a supporter of the ministry of my new found sister in Christ. God be praised. 

This Means War!

Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. 

Ephesians 6:11-13

     There is a time in which each of us will find ourselves engaged in a fierce battle. Scripture teaches that it is not a physical fight, but one which is spiritual.  In this time of attack, everything seems to change from the norm.  The enemy's gloves come off and we start to take a beating. At least that is what happens to me. It's strange--it doesn't happen frequently in my life and I have found myself caught way off-guard, now that I am engaged in this fight. 

     In January of this year, I began experiencing my normal winter depression.  My anxiety increases, panic attacks come out of nowhere and I feel a dark foreboding weight upon me. By God's grace, it has been manageable without medication and He carries me through each time. As it began this time, I knew that God was doing a work. I am on the verge of a new step in my life for which God has been preparing me since I was a child.  And with this on my mind, I began the winter term with these feelings of anxiety once again.  To find an answer, I Googled some phrase...I don't remember what, exactly. But what I found was an article from Ray Comfort on anxiety and panic attacks, in which he says, 

"If there is a cry in your heart to be used by God, then you may go through a similar experience [to his own anxiety and depression].  I don't want to unnecessarily alarm you, but if you understand why it is happening and what you can do to speed up the process, it will help.  If God in his great wisdom sees fit to use the Refiner's fire, then it is only "if need be" (I Peter 1:6).  Pray that you may avoid it, but this is often normal procedure in being prepared for ministry.  A wild horse is no good to a rider.  It can't be trusted.  It needs its spirit broken so that it will willingly yield to the desire of the rider.  So let me share with you a few words of comfort, so that if you find yourself hanging over a dark chasm of insanity by the spider web of faith, you will know why, and realize that the web is unbreakable."

When I read this, I was in the bathtub.  And I began to sob after reading it. The phrase about 'normal procedure in being prepared for ministry' jumped off the page at me and hit me like a ton of bricks. I confessed my lack of faith to the Lord right there and I can say that my anxiety went away and has not returned all winter.

     Ah, but that's never the end of the story, is it? You knock one sucker off and five more grow back in its place. And so it was with my life for these months.  I grew confident in my resolve to get through this winter and do my job and make friends and just flourish where I am.  But without knowing what was happening (at least not altogether and not early on), I found several things happened to me in the four months which followed. I found myself attacked on so many levels that I thought I had conquered. Certainly, there are some areas of weakness in my flesh in which I will continue to fight until I die.  They are hungers that are like a savage animal looking for one more meal.  But now, on the verge of the next great step of my life, I find myself tempted in ways I never considered would ever arise again. 

     First, I was put in a position where I had to keep a boarder for 3.5 months.  This was originally to be for one month, but was extended and has now ended. But I found myself continually tested by having this person in my presence who continually challenged me with a difficult personality, attitude and living habits.  I have not had negative feelings toward anyone for a very long time, so this was a very new experience for me. I have lived in great peace for many years, but this brought out a side of me I thought was long gone.  I am thankful that it happened, and that it is over. But God has shown me that I have so far to go in loving people who are different from me and who oppose me and my ways.  

     One other negative thing that has come out during this time has been the words I speak to others. I have been critical of others in a poor way. The scripture that always goes through my mind is, "Speak evil of no man," but there it goes...I said it. Oh, I'll preface my words with a bite of the lip and the phrase, "I don't want to say anything bad about this person, but..." And the deed is done. I have held closely to my chest for a very long time the scripture that teaches me to "Study to be quiet and work with my own hands..." That has been my guide for so long. But now...  I'm guilty of speaking of others in a negative way. Even when what I say is true and pertains specifically to me, I have been a talebearer. As I said, I thought this part of me was dealt with long ago, but in my self-confidence and carelessness, old habits return and the battle is lost.

     One of the worst possible things to happen to me is very much the same as which happened to the Lord Jesus in the wilderness when he was tempted by Satan.  He held the kingdoms of the world before him and said they could all be his if he would bow down and worship him. Of course, the kingdoms of the world already belong to Christ and there was no chance of him giving in to the temptation. But there has been a 'kingdom' of sorts dangled in front of me also by the same tempter.  This temptation is my career in the school, more pay, the position of my choice, a better house, a renovated house, respect in the school, seniority, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. These are all good things and things to which I am entitled. But on the eve of ministry the devil has made all these things look very attractive to me and I have felt divided affections for what God may have for me and what I would be giving up should I leave. Possessions, money and honor have never been things I have sought. They have come with time and the place where God has had me, but in the midst of battle, the enemy says, "Come on, one more year, you can do it!", "Your house is going to be so nice after its renovated" and "All the hard work you put into the school. Someone who doesn't care as much as you is only going to come in and mess it up!".  You see...all good things. But temptations, nonetheless.  

     So, on the eve (almost literally) of God's next step for me, I must be vigilant. I must bear the shield of faith and fight against my enemy with the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.  Prayer, which has been a constant battle for many months must become part of me. I must breathe prayer to my Captain and cry for strength in the night watches. And though the night is dark and long, and the battle seems impossible to win, the truth is that the dawn will come and the Sun of Righteousness will arise in my heart and carry me on to fight another battle, on another day. 

Theocracy

Laying the Demon to Rest