Alone in the Void

     You know that little phrase "living the life"? I briefly pondered the meaning of this tonight. It was my turn to supervise volleyball, as it is each Monday night. For some reason yet unknown to me, no one showed up to play, which is extremely odd. So I hung out for about an hour, alone. I sat in the staff room for twenty minutes of that hour watching for anyone who might come late to play. No one did. 

     As I sat there, I started to think of the aforementioned phrase, or some version of it. The gist is the same. What is 'life'? By many standards, I've got it made. I have a great job (most days), there is lots of room for moving up and advancing in my career (my board will even pay for my education if I wish). My house is pretty much paid for (subsidized by my employer). Really, what more could I ask for? And this is where the lusts of my flesh and my Christian views diverge. The 'life' as defined by my flesh is a better job, more money, entertainment, stuff, and the strongest pull of all, the love of a woman. I suspect this is the same pull for most, as it generally happens that one either does not last for long here alone, or they end up living with someone they meet, either on the job or from the community.  

     In contrast, the life lived for Christ is one of self-sacrifice, waiting on the Lord for pleasures that may never come to pass in this life, and a willingness to never be 'settled' (since our citizenship is in heaven, everywhere we could ever go on earth is only a brief layover on the journey).  Man, that's tough. 

     I guess I'm being presumptuous to think that there's anything extraordinary about me that would make someone look twice at me, but really, I suppose it would be rather easy to give in to those fleshly desires and do what comes naturally to 99.9 % of the world. And that is what is supposed to be 'living the life.' Following the dictates of one's heart and satisfying every earthly desire.  

     As I thought of this, I looked up into the night sky and observed an extraordinarily bright star twinkling brightly above me, and in a southerly direction. I wondered, if that star possessed self awareness, how it would feel about its existence. It might look at itself and say something like, "I'm just a big fat rock, floating out here in the dark all alone with no friends for millions of miles." What a depressing existence that poor star has. But as I look up from my spot on the little blue ball, I see a light which shines brightly for all within view to see. 

     You see, that star has no glory of its own. He could bemoan his situation and seek some meaningless way to try and produce his own light for his own pleasure, but in the end, he is just like every other rock in the void. He is nothing apart from the reflection of the sun. And the glory reflected from him to me is wondrous. 

     And in my search for wholeness and a real 'life', I must constantly remind myself that there is nothing of value in any of the pleasures of this life that seem to be fulfilling. I can pursue pleasure to the end of the universe, but like Solomon, in the end it would all turn out to be meaningless and empty. My true worth comes in the person of Christ and his life shining on me and through me. And maybe, someone else will someday see that beauty reflected  and at the very most come to love the Son from which it radiates. And at the very least, maybe they'll see me.